WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO ME?

•January 24, 2011 • Leave a Comment

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO ME?

HI, it has been a long time since I have written, well I am still alive and doing well. I know some thought I kicked the bucket as I virtually disappeared. Well I had some ups and downs, but I am working hard at living and going forward.

I had to write about this because it hurts me so much I need to put it on paper and maybe it will hurt less. You see it is about a friend of mine who has fallen. His life has come to a point of no return and it kills me. Fact is there was no talking to him; he always had all the answers. So here is his story and the story of many people in our society. The question is will it be us next or have we opened up to history and learned to prevail, or are we doing as we please and just kidding ourselves??

Not long ago I wrote a story about a Rabbi and the lesson he told, it was called THE START DICTATES THE END, you can find it among my inspirational writings. It plays out in every part of life, from the beginning of our trek through life to the incidental tasks we endeavor daily.

I have a friend who I like, we are very different and see things with very different values. He has always thought I was a little crazy for my work ethics and will to sacrifice.  I will change his occupation and name to hide who he really is, but the story is so common it fits many.

This story is about a man who had a small business for 36 years, his service is still in fashion and still needed by all. To most, looking at him and his business he looked like he was doing just fine. Getting to know him from soliciting his services it was clear 15 years ago he was about to be in a train wreck. You see every day he did his job and failed to improve, failed to work at being sharper and failed to grow.  We talked before about the constant pursuit of rising to a new higher level. How important it is to get Better every day and how important the proper preparation is, doing the first things first in life.

Remember the story of growing. How we discussed there is nothing on earth that does not benefit from growth, enrichment, the constant effort to go forward. Think of the tomato, every day as it hangs on the tomato plant it gets bigger and juicier, one day it becomes red ripe and stop growing and from that day forward it no longer grows and it can only start to die. Except for a few items like wine, cheese, etc. (and they to have a limit of growth and then also die) all things in life start to die when the fail to grow.

Well my friend refused to grow. He had his income, lived on it, traveled a little, and got by. What was clear was he was ripe and dying. What he refused do was to stop and get outside help about how he could prepare for the future. Like the Rabbi with the jar, it matters what you do first because you cannot go back.  His life as he knew it would inevitably fall apart. It killed me as I watched him over the years let his life go. I tried to help him, but he rejected help. I was able to intervene 5 years ago when he was behind in rent and renegotiate a lower lease with an option to go forward, but it just made him comfortable again and he continued to resort to his stationary life style.

Finally the inevitable has happened. He had a small (very minor) fire and the landlord offered to let him out of his lease and let him go on his way. With no preparation for the future He figured he could keep his customers and go to another business as an employee and work out a deal where his customers could find him. Well, he moved and it is not working. He is now an angry American mad at everyone, when really he built his world. So what really happened and how has this man gone from a fun loving guy to an angry American, hating his life and now caught in the cycle of cheap rent, cheap food and leading a life that no one wants to get close to, yes the final phase, limited friends and family.  Fact is He has lost his house his lively hood and he is 60, so now what? Well he now lives in a very low rent area and once again he will get by.

Let me not leave out he has been in a state of shock for about 2 years now as all this has taken place and still, he thinks he knows best. I now realize there is no helping him; I will just be there for him and help him through his emergencies.

If you have been reading my spiritual blogs you get by now I urge responsibility. Something our government has been telling us more and more, they know best and will fix everything for us. Well those that succeed know we are responsible for all that happens to us. Fact is I believe my cancer and all my other health problems are my fault. Now my Dr. tells me it is genetic and there is nothing I could do about it. Well the problem with that thinking is this “unless I take responsibility for everything in my life I cannot fix it”. The moment you say it is not my fault you are finished, say it is my fault to everything and then you can get involved and fix it, you would be very surprised to what you can control.

Well as you might imagine from reading my blogs I needed to know more about my unfortunate friend to hopefully help him and to learn how he got where he is. As it turned out His falling is about responsibility or in his case the lack of. You see he had a wife once and a child. Regardless of his reason, he left and lost contact with his daughter. He made a few attempts on his terms to contact her, but once again he did what he wanted to do. He left home after fathering a child that needed her Dad home to become a well rounded child, is daughter. He made the decision and said I am more important than you to his little girl.  He also had some partner falling outs in his life that sound like another episode of doing what he wanted to do. I don’t know the whole story, but it is clear he put his needs before others. And the greatest sin was walking away from his little girl. His wife may have been nuts, all the more reason to stay home and be the responsible one to guide his daughter until she was of age and developed. For me there is no excuse for any man leaving his children. Lay down with a woman and father a child and you made a commitment. Walk away from that commitment and you are no better than the animals in the forest and deserve the worst.  If your wife is truly nuts and you cannot stay at home, you better rent an apartment 10 feet away and be there for your family.

Time and time again I see this situation where men and sometimes woman leave home and their children and they never and I mean never stop paying for it, unfortunately their children pay also.  I have said it before and I will say it again, there is a natural order of things, regardless if you believe in creation or evolution the rules apply.

Responsibility and preparation are everything in life. What you do to your life and to others will haunt you forever and the end will stink. No one gets away with it.

So let’s think about what we are doing every moment of the day. Are we accepting responsibility for what is going on in our lives (can’t fix it if we do not have control.)  Are we growing every day and reading to enlighten ourselves to become better. Are we keeping our word? Are we constantly reminding ourselves that “AS LONG AS WE ARE DOING WHAT WE FEEL LIKE DOING WE CAN NEVER HAVE WHAT WE WANT TO HAVE”, are we growing? Never forget the rules of nature if you are green you are growing if you are ripe you are dying. Let’s all keep growing every day. I never forgot a 100 pound first generation Italian I worked with at Maxon Pontiac body shop when I was about 21. He said to me everyday “Sammy every day I get a little bit better” he went on to owning many houses and building a very stable life for him and his family.

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Earning Discipline (the greatest gift)

•December 13, 2009 • 2 Comments

Last week I blogged about balance and the price you have to pay for it. Surprisingly I had contacts from 2 friends by phone and several others via cancer blogs. I think maybe I left a few important things out. Continue reading ‘Earning Discipline (the greatest gift)’

Balance can’t be found it is earned

•December 7, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Balance can’t be found it is earned

It is a funny thing about balance. We forget how important it is in every aspect of life. We tend to look away from opportunities to develop balance to avoid the stress that may be at hand. If we look away enough, balance can never be ours. Through the years I have noticed that most people go through life avoiding stressful situation. It may seem easier at first, but it creates a life that just cannot roll along with any assemblage of balance. Continue reading ‘Balance can’t be found it is earned’

pasta and veggies maybe pastaprimavera

•November 30, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Pasta and veggies (Maybe a primavera)

  1. Start boiling water in large pot about 6 qts
    in large frying pan place
  2. ¼ cup good olive oil
  3. 5 gloves garlic minced (you can use 1 tbl spoon from a jar)
  4. Small (4oz) can of black sliced olives
  5. ½ cup red cabbage sliced up thin
  6. 2 medium carrots sliced anyway you like but the slices must be about 1/8th inch thick
  7. Green pepper slices thin ¼ in slices
  8. Red pepper slices thin ¼ in slices
  9. 4 Scallions. the whole thing white and green part cut about 3/8 inch
  10. 3 cherry red hot peppers seeds out and chop them up
  11. Sugar snap beans pull the string out and leave them whole
  12. Broccoli cut up into pieces about the size of a half dollar
  13. ½ cup sundried tomatoes from a jar setting in oil not dried. sliced into pieces about the size of a half dollar. This is the flavor so it is a must, if you can get some of the oil from the jar so much the better.
  14. Put 1 pound pasta in the 6 qts of boiling salted water. for this I like to use bowtie pasta or penne
  15. Sprinkle a little parmesan cheese on the veggies and season with salt and pepper.
  16. You can shake on ¼ tsb of Italian seasoning of you like or Mrs Dash
  17. Turn on heat under veggies high. When it starts boiling add 1/3 cut vodka (the cheap stuff). Cook veggies about 5 minutes or until they are tender (the alcohol will burn right off) . Do not overcook them, they should still be very crunch just softer than raw.
  18. Drain the pasta and poor in about 1/8 cup good olive oil and mix into pasta.
  19. Put pasta in a long oval dish and gently pour the veggies into the middle so the pasta gets pushed to the outside. Sprinkle a little cheese on the dish and Garnish with parsley

If you like to add chicken or shrimp. I like to do it this way. Put a cast iron pan on the burner and turn the heat on high. this should heat for about 5 min.  Cut the chicken in thin strips about ¼ inch max. From this point on shrimp or chicken are cooked the same.

  1. Melt ½ cup butter.
  2. Mix equal parts of paprika, black pepper, garlic powder, white pepper, Italian seasoning, onion powder and salt.
  3. Now pour the hot butter over the chicken or shrimp and mix it with your hands to coat them all  and sprinkle the Blackening mixture on and put it on the hot pan seasoned side down. Put them all in the pan. Now sprinkle the other side. Only cook for a minute or 2 and flip them. Cook another min or 2 and take them out, place them on the outside of the plate surrounding the pasta and the veggies. Also open the windows and get ready for the fire alarms to beep. This may smoke.you can use pasta that does not have gluten in it or a past of whole grain and really make this dish healthy

Rules Of Life part 3

•November 29, 2009 • Leave a Comment

The below is the last third of lifes rules.

6. Your goal in life. If you have not found it yet. Keep reading, Keep volunteering and enlightening yourself and you will find your goal. Once you know what it is that you want you must be clear and write it down. For instance maybe you want to have a house, 2 kids and a mate, or your own business, a condo in a good neighborhood. Or maybe it is a certain amount of money. Let’s say you want to be successful in real-estate sales.  Whatever it is you must have a clear picture of where you are going. Take the house, the secure job or business and the kids. Sit back close your eyes Continue reading ‘Rules Of Life part 3’

part 2 of “Lifes Rules For Success”

•November 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

part 1 of “life’s rules for success” was posted just before this, if you have not read it yet please do so before reading this post

Part 2 of life’s Rules For Success

4.  I have found that it is almost impossible to get any advice that will help me from a friend. The fact is that I travel in a certain circle of friends because that circle is where I am the most comfortable. If you are to grow Continue reading ‘part 2 of “Lifes Rules For Success”’

Lifes Rules For Success (part 1)

•November 16, 2009 • 1 Comment

This week I am going to put up 1/3 of a success tutorial I once wrote for a friend of mine a long time ago. It was part of a letter i had sent to my friend.  It is simple and to the point. Possibly after I post all 3 section of what I call “Life’s Rules for Success” we can look at each one in depth and maybe if I have time I can share my road to these conclusions. Continue reading ‘Lifes Rules For Success (part 1)’