Possession / Ownershp

Possession / Ownership:

I just had a long discussion with a young man who really cannot understand the value of possession. I wrote about this before, but I can never underestimate the power of ownership.  Being in control of your health, your business, your future and every other aspect of your short stay on earth is about ownership and possession. I think one of the problems with this is our upbringing.  I listen to parents guiding their children and hear the reverse of what should be related. A simple thing like 2 siblings fighting and one hits the other. The first thing I hear parents say is “why did you hit your sister?”  At that moment you are being taught that, if you can come up with a reason for your actions, it is not your fault and you will not suffer consequences. If you think hard you will be able to recall many such scenarios in your training (and that is what you were given during your early years, training.) So were you trained by your teachers, parents and grandparents to fail?

All of that training is part of our modern society. Nothing is my fault and this is the reason why. We are all pretty good at it. Just to be fair look at our politicians’. From the White House to the local mayor, nothing is their fault. Hell, if they didn’t do it I certainly cannot be responsible. If you think that mind set works, look at our economy.

So as I have said in my early writings, I believe everything is my fault. I adopted this belief may years ago and it has done several things for me. It has given me a great family, vacation homes on an island, a great home, friends, businesses and maybe most important it has saved my life.

I believe I cause everything that happens to me. If I am standing on a corner and get hit by a bus, it is my fault. 1. I should have been watching. 2. It was my decision to be on that corner. I do not care about the bus crossing my path, that was the drivers fault with regards to his life. As for me, clearly most of the responsibility was mine. My cancers and other diseases were 100% my fault. I could have altered the current outcome, but I did not. Basically I violated one of the 2 most important rules in life, “I did what I felt like doing during my life as opposed to what I should have been doing” (you can read more about that under ‘Life’s rules”  in inspirational).

Back to standing up and blaming yourself: I am not saying thrust the blame on yourself and feel guilty. Accept your situation and assume that you are the responsible party so you can fix it. If you are not to blame you are powerless.  Say to yourself ‘this is my fault’ (because I promise you everything is at some major level) and start looking for ways to correct your situation. Own the situation and you will have great power to fix the situation.

There is something about jumping in and believing you are responsible. It empowers you beyond your vision of strength. Jump in and take action and your actions multiply. I believe we were meant to resolve all that comes our way. Unfortunately  the big problem is somehow the extreme do-gooders found a way to beat it out of our hearts, let’s put it back, all we have to do is say to everything that happens,

Fixing a problem has a starting point that is pivotal. You can either start by knowing it is not your fault and your path will be fraught with anxiety and anger or you can jump in knowing you caused it and only you can fix it, this path is filled with pride and emotional reward. I am not saying it is easier, it is tougher to start, but ultimately once on a roll easier and it is the only way to fill your life with happiness and security of knowing you are controlling your life.

Back to my young friend: He argued with me and from time to time during our meeting and had a doubting sarcastic look on his face, but I think I reached him a little. It is a tough thing to adopt. If you finally start believing in your heart that everything is your fault, you have to admit you have been running from your responsibilities. I remember sitting in my house in 1982 (at the time I was about 125 pounds, down from 170 because of my first cancer) and discovering this about myself, I was confused and lost at that moment. My recollection of that day is that I was reading meditations from the battle field of Marcus Aurelius and what he said was “all things that were his were his to change” (I know this is terribly paraphrased, but it was a long time ago.)  It hit me like a hammer and I felt lost, I asked myself ‘had I been wasting my precious days on earth by playing the blame game’ allowing myself to be blown from one event that was not my fault to another looking for my big break?

For me I started thinking everything was my fault and within 10 months I was 170 pounds and working back at my company 12 hours a day, I was in charge.

Well I think I reached my young fried at least a little, he is now at least thinking that there is another side. After all how do we fix the unfixable?? By making it our own, possessing it, owning it and then working to change it. Can’t fix what is not yours.  On his way out he came around my desk and hugged me and said ‘thanks know one ever made me think about it that way.’


~ by samcasternovia on April 2, 2011.

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